> it doesn’t exist

GitHub does provide self-hosting via GitHub Emterprise Server.

> because it doesn’t exist

I'm not so sure, and I'm looking at the friggin' thing: https://enterprise.github.com/trial

For the small, small price of your business email address, it's yours.

Not only does it exist, but we've never been impacted by any of these GitHub outages going on.

Not true. It exists, though I know someone who had to support it and it's apparently a real POS that not even Microsoft support is good at fixing.

Not only does it exist, it's cheaper than Gitlab Premium.