iPhones could do it well, using the face ID lidar to measure the user's pupils. (It already does this, taking advantage of the property that they are reflective in IR.) Androids with only a front camera would do it poorly. But either would require pairing with a wearable capable of SpO2, skin galvanometry, HR measurement, etc., in order to credibly analyze physiological stress.

I suppose it needs clarifying that I say this all in jest, not as any kind of serious suggestion. Among other reasons, it would only improve the tone and not the substance.

I mean, it is social media. Will you really say you never heard an idea you liked less?