You can train the smart ones [1], and even wirelessly remotely control them with a mobile app [2], as long as you restrict yourself to commanding them to do things they were going to do anyway, just like cats.

Kudos to the Stoned Republicans of the High Frontier Panel and The Heritage Foundation for their groundbreaking earth shattering work on Smart Rocks!

[1] Brilliant Pebbles: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brilliant_Pebbles#Smart_Rocks

>In March 1988, Teller and Wood were able to directly brief President Reagan on the concept, taking the model pebble with them and theatrically hiding it under a black cloth when reporters were allowed to take pictures. Teller reiterated that the price for the system would be on the order of $10 billion.

Photographic proof (not AI generated): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Brilliant_Pebbles_present...

[2] Pet Rock Remote Control: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SG0FAKkaisg

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