> My advice would be 1) to not phrase decisions as suggestions,

I was about to write the same thing. TS, if you feel strongly about the need for a post-mortem analysis then it is: "We WILL do a post-mortem analysis, and you WILL analyze root cause issues and you WILL help me write a report about the incident. It has the highest priority." It is not: "We should do a post-mortem analysis, you guys agree it is a good idea?" TS comes of as wanting to lead by persuasion, which imo very often doesn't work.

Good advice. This is what I’m planning to do. I didn’t do this in the meeting since he misrepresented how bad this was.