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If it's any consolation, research shows that you're right about the poor usability of flat design: https://www.nngroup.com/articles/flat-ui-less-attention-caus...
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100%

If you want them, make it so when I mouse near it extends out

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Omg no. Don't move clickable things suddenly under my mouse that weren't there when I picked where to put my cursor.

I absolutely detest systems like this that break my current mode because they guess I might want shovelin something else as a new mode. Even if you get it right 9 times out of 10 I find it so disruptive. Somehow it makes me feel like the system is -untrustworthy-.

Grain of salt though - I tend to take a power use stance on things and want my tools to augment what I'm trying to do instead of do things on my behalf.

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I agree in the majority of cases, however with a scroll bar its usually where there is a lack of content in a webpage and it can still be small.

Otherwise I agree and detest it.

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