You're quite right: that newfangled Patreon nonsense is a flash in the pan that will never catch on. There's no way anyone can be successful getting hundreds of people to pay them $5 (or even $1) per month. Ads are the only way to run the Internet.

What? It's 2026, not 2016? And Patreon has been running very successfully for over a decade? Huh. Whaddayaknow?