> on Slack I'm immediately get shoved into a car and driven away to discuss (I don't feel community)
It completely depends on the community / people. I'm in multiple slack servers where the threads are an exception for things that would otherwise really pollute the discussion. But otherwise, everyone just chats mostly in #general (or different rooms if the community is really large)
Different people at the wheel making decisions on how we will all use it, and encouraging the structure.