Gloves are not for severe cold. They are for dexterity during limited exposure time - as no gloves can keep your fingers warm for very long no matter how well-made they are.
Look for mittens or "choppers" as we called them back in the day if you are going to be outside for a long period of time. These are outer shells (leather or gore-tex/etc.) with various types of removable liners. You basically layer your hands inside them. For folks outside all day you usually would have a few liners on hand to replace when they get wet.
Add a heat pack (iron oxide) to these on those super cold days and you'll be pretty much set.
But also, kind of don’t like how they make me look like a teenager, and I already look young for my age, don’t need any help in this department:) have been trying to find a glove-solution that is still warm. Have just tried some heated gloves, they seem pretty good, but early still
Boots that are rated to -40 during light activity can leave you with cold toes if you're standing still in -10 for an hour.
Activity levels also dictate how you layer and how easily you need to dump heat. If you're hiking, snowshoeing, XC skiing, you want some layers with zips so you can quickly let heat out.
all the ones I've seen when researching were lithium-ion from sketchy-looking brands, any brands you recommend?
Snow Deer have better electronics: The main button requires you to hold it down in order to turn it off and on. This is big deal because it’s easy to accidentally press the button when you’re out and about. But, unlike what all the review say, I find them uncomfortable. They have a piece of wiring that runs along the top of the foot that digs in (and have tried two different pairs, same thing. Have returned them both).
Dr. Warm is more comfortable (not perfect, but for hiking, good enough). But the problem is the main button doesn’t require a long press to turn them off, so sometimes, you’ll find they’ve turned off by accident (or more importantly, turned on and you’ve drained the battery). Still, comfort is more important, and there are ways to get around the button issue, so these are the ones I use daily - will keep the batteries unplugged until needed.
And like someone else said, if all else fails, get a nicer brand, one that is $200+.
Your main concern is to stay dry and minimize snow incursion. Either wear ski pants that act as gaiters, use gaiters or use boots and socks that are high enough that you won't get snow down the sides.
If you buy boots with insulation, try not to compress it. Otherwise be aware that if you don't keep moving, your boots will eventually cool to ambient and it's pretty hard to get that temperature back up.
Check grip? Hard to test but warm doesn't necessarily mean any good on slick ice. Spikes work well if you're going on a hike and there's a lot of packed snow mixed with ice.
Don't forget good socks. Doesn't need to be anything fancy, but wool is by far the best material (not necessarily merino as it tends to be too thin). You may need to size up because of the extra padding.
Also luxury, but fan assisted boot drying/warming stations are great. They make quite a big difference if you go out a lot because moisture build-up takes ages to dry otherwise.
Pick a size larger than you would usually do, unless they're explicitly designed as winter boots. In cold weather you'll want wool socks as well as regular socks and that requires some extra space.
When given a choice, soldiers will tend to choose something like Salomon Toundra.