It’s one thing if one’s being a shitty person to others, and does some mental gymnastics to not feel bad about it. Plenty of examples out there, but author doesn’t strike me as such. I don’t see any of this here, unless maybe if author’s game or Mandarin skills are beyond atrocious, lol. Just kidding, of course.

It’s a whole other thing to be at peace with yourself about your own stuff. Not doing that is a potential way to become a sociopath, because if one constantly feels shitty about themselves all chances are they’ll start to voluntarily exclude themselves from society (to avoid feeling bad) and get out of touch with it.

And wanting good things is… normal, isn’t it? I would be rather concerned if someone doesn’t want anything - ahedonia is not a good state to be in.

The only social thing I’ve seen there, is author’s admission they want to impose imagination (whatever that means), but in my perception that’s just some random thought that wasn’t followed on.

I often wonder what draws me to pick up so many interests and goals. I used to think its leading me towards something but after so many years I have started to wonder if that is really whats going on. Maybe there is something more essential I can tease out of all my side projects that reveals what I am really after..