If we create age verification tools with strong privacy protections that solve the problems they raise, we can can call their bluff.

If we fight every and any solution, we may end up with their solution, becauase they build it. We end up in the position of saying "don't use the thing they built" without offering alternatives. I'd rather be saying "use whatbwe built, ita is better."

Is it though? Do you have any proof that is the case?

Google/Apple already know where you and your mistress live. In case you pay for any service, they've got your identity too. Ever had a single shipment confirmation to your address come to your mail? They know who you are.

The hardware providers already have the information. You only need to make them reveal it to 3rd parties.