But generally projects which are choosing some random SBC aren't using any of these features, and are just suffering the pain/imposing it on their users for no good reason.
you've ruled out the entire NXP ecosystem, the entire Nvidia Jetson ecosystem, the entire AMD/FPGA/Zynq ecosystem, even perfectly good options like beagle-board .... who else?
incidentally, you've also ruled out this project - as they are using an M7 microcontroller to meet their hard-real-time timing constraints...
There are also a (much smaller) number of projects that will legitimately see the kind of scale of production that justifies aggressive cost optimization for the compute platform, either in terms of designing their own around a SoC or picking some SBC/SoM that they can get a good deal on, where the significant additional up-front engineering cost is outweighed by the production savings (and where the desire/need to keep a fixed platform means the often limited platform support from the vendor is less restrictive).
But a large number of robotics projects (basically everything in the research sphere) - this one very much included - just need "some computer" for general-purpose use. They are already separating realtime control onto a separate microcontroller board. For these projects, it is almost always committing a "premature pessimization" of picking some weird SBC. You are signing up for worse CPU and GPU performance, stability, and development future for very little reward.