Happy to help find a place that fits. In my experience, martial arts schools are very much a vibe-compatibility thing.
What :D? I would say BJJ is an exceptionally safe martial art in that you can spar at 90-95% and not get hurt at all. Muay Thai or boxing sparring gives you regular bruises in comparison. At least that’s my experience.
And in solo sports, you can almost completely set your own safety budget, whereas in martial arts there's a large irreducible lump of danger from "the other person lacks the control to do something safely". The only other person I know in person who does BJJ who I didn't meet at BJJ is a brown belt, and just got a four-month leg injury during a routine rolling session; I myself am only just over a five-month chest injury that was probably from someone very heavy simply throwing himself down on top of me when I didn't react in time (obviously he shouldn't have done that, but I can't control what other people do).
Also how on earth are you managing not to get bruises at BJJ?! My legs are covered in them after pretty much every session just from sustained pressure.
I’ve had some from lifting weights.
I see your point about solo sports.
> Also how on earth are you managing not to get bruises at BJJ
Oh I get “finger marks” on the arms for sure, but never got a black eye or a nosebleed from BJJ. I got that quite regularly from boxing and muay thai/MMA training.