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Everyone uses grammar. What you're describing is elitism and elevating one particular dialect above all others.
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Everyone uses grammar according to the wide definition of grammar, but nevertheless it's not a category error to say "*this sentence got grammar mistake".

When we speak about the grammar for a language/dialect we imply a prescribed "correct" grammar for a particular community of speakers.

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On some level. Thing is it is visible and everybody knows what the standards are, social mobility is possible under the sign of grammar.

If the game is wearing a $20k watch or understanding the covert signs of status that you might find in a particular community, that's something different.

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people aren’t saying “aks” to make a public statement against you for whatever reason. they’re saying it because that’s how they learned to speak and the dialect of speakers who they were surrounded with.

yeah, people code switch, but i have come across many many people who just say things differently from the majority pronunciation. they’re not misunderstood and they can communicate just fine (see nucular vs nuclear). that’s just how language works, right

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That IS how language works. However, people notice language a choose how to use language.

I hear people say "ask" and people say "aks". I hear both, and I see there's a difference. In your mind people who say "aks" can't see there's two variants. Why not? You're being patronising. I think they do and they make a choice, like I do. I COULD start saying "aks" and choose not to.

What next, are you going to argue that people who wear their pants down by their knees don't know that's not how you use pants? I think they know there's alternatives, and that's what they choose to do.

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