Optional being opinionated I don't think I agree with. It is better to have an optional of something that can't be null (such as a reference) than have everything be implicitly nullable (such as raw pointers). This means you have to care about the nullable case when it can happen, and only when it can happen.
There is a caveat for C++ though: optional<T&> is larger in memory than a rae pointer. Rust optimises this case to be the same size (one pointer) by noting that the zero value can never be valid, so it is a "niche" that can be used for something else, such as the None variant of the Option. Such niche optimisation applies widely across the language, to user defined types as well. That would be impossible tp retrofit on C++ without at the very least breaking ABI, and probably impossible even on a language level. Maybe it could be done on a type by type basis with an attribute to opt in.
The caveat is that niche optimizations are not perfectly portable, they can have edge cases. Strict portability is likely why the C++ standard makes niche optimization optional.