But isn't it crazy how we throw out so much memory just because of random buffers? It feels wrong to me
There's a common noob complaint about "Linux using all my RAM!" where people are confused about the headline free/buffers numbers. If there's a reasonable chance data could be used again soon it's better to leave it in RAM; if the RAM is needed for something else, the current contents will get paged out. Having a chunk of RAM be genuinely unallocated to anything is doing nothing for you.
The portions that are allocated but not yet used might just be page table entries with no backing memory, making them free. Except for the memory tracking the page table entries. Almost free....
A lot of "image" will be mmapped and clean. Anything you don't actually use from that will be similarly freeish. Anything that's constantly needed will use memory. Except if it's mapped into multiple processes, then it's needed but responsibility is spread out. How do you count an app's memory usage when there's a big chunk of code that needs to sit in RAM as long as any of a dozen processes are running? How do you count code that might be used sometime in the next few minutes or might not be depending on what the user does?
ASLR is not an obstacle -- the same exact code can be mapped into different base addresses in different processes, so they can be backed by the same actual memory.
This optimization is essential. A typical process maps in hundreds of megabytes of code from the OS. There are hundreds of processes running at any given time. Eyeballing the numbers on an older Mac I have here (a newer one would surely be worse) I'd need maybe 50GB of RAM just to hold the code of all the running processes if the pages couldn't be shared.