The fun part is, there have been a lot of non-misses! Like a lot! A ton of data have been exfiltrated, a lot of attacks, and etc. In the end... it just didn't matter.

Your analogy isn't really apt either. My argument is closer to "given in the past decade+, nothing of worth has been harmed, should we require airbags and seatbelts for everything?". Obviously in some extreme mission critical systems you should be much smarter. But in 99% cases it doesn't matter.

By now, getting a car without airbags would probably be more costly if possible, and the seatbelt takes 2s every time you're in a car, which is not nothing but is still very little. In comparison, analyzing all the dependencies of a software project, vetting them individually or having less of them can require days of efforts with a huge cost.

We all want as much security as possible until there's an actual cost to be paid, it's a tradeoff like everything else.