I feel that everybody is "nuts" in their own way.

The cross-over that we need to focus on is whether their neuro-divergence is actually debilitating.

> where every person alive is an abuse survivor of varying seriousness

An odd way to frame it but probably true.

> which will bring us right back to ignoring people who need help

That does not follow - if the environmental sources are known, people (especially teachers and social workers) can look out for them and take measures to improve the outcome for the child. And this is what I'm seeing right now.

See it on a societal scale - for the same effort put into raising kids, you get more functional adults.