F* (and most other dependently-typed languages, or adjacent ones like Liquid Haskell) has a whole external SMT solver layer that lives outside of the language. Think like if SML modules were even less unified with the core language, and also most of your time was spent in that layer. They're really not fun to try and make complex software with, just because the context-switching required at scale is borderline inhuman.

Lean has a unified proof-system in the language like Idris, but it has much the same grain as the languages with external SMT solvers. You're spending most of your mental time in proofsland, thinking primarily about how to prove what you want to do. That's because with how Lean as a language is set up, you're basically centering all your reasoning around the goal. If there's a problem, you're adjusting the structure of your reasoning, changing your proof strategy, or identifying missing lemmas, etc.

You can kind of think of it as though Idris is "inside out" compared to most of the other dependently typed languages.