DPA won't punish you for not following EDPB's recommendations, they will punish you for breaking GDPR. You are free to ignore EDPB if you think your legal position is strong, but you carry the risk if you are wrong.
The rest of the "It'S So LaRgE AnD UndErSpEciFieD" is just FUD. The regulators don't just slap fines, they work with you to get you to comply, and they just want to see that you're putting in the effort instead of messing them about.
I have literally never been surprised by the GDPR. Whenever I thought "surely this is allowed" it was, whenever I thought "this can't be allowed", it wasn't. For everything in the middle, nobody will punish you for an honest mistake.
This is not too hard if you do proper engineering work ahead of time and are purposeful about how you move and manage data (step 1 is just not collecting it unless its vital). But the industry encourages us to be very bad about that because we gotta "move fast and break things or you're not gonna make it."
How do you know that? Again the law establishes a rules making body that can at any time change or add rules, and as far as I can tell there's no public review process.
Please quote the exact text of the law that you claim does that. And since the law has been in force for 10 years, perhaps you can point at the website of said body.
If you say "DPAs", then...erm... perhaps learn something about the world around you? Who do you think monitors compliance, say, for food, or for construction? It just appears out of nowhere? Same here
Just don't spy on people.