I think there is often tension between DRY and "thing should do only one thing." E.g., I've found myself guilty of DRYing up a function, but the use is slightly different in a couple places, so... I know, I'll just add a flag/additional function argument. And you keep doing that and soon you have a messed up function with lots of conditional logic.

The key is to avoid the temptation to DRY when things are only slightly different and find a balance between reuse and "one function/class should only do one thing."

Buy me a beer and I can tell you some very poignant stories. The best ones are where there is a legitimate abstraction that could be great, assuming A) everyone who had to interact with the abstraction had the expertise to use it, B) the details of the product requirements conformed to the high level technical vision, now and forever, and C) migrating from the current state to the new system could be done in a bounded amount of time.

My view is over-engineering comes from the innate desire of engineers to understand and master complexity. But all software is a liability, every decision a tradeoff that prunes future possibilities. So really you want to make things as simple as possible to solve the problem at hand as that will give you more optionality on how to evolve later.

I’ll give a simplified example of something I have at work right now. The program moves data from the old system to the new system. It started out moving a couple of simple data types that were basically the same thing by different names. It was a great candidate for reusing a method. Then a third type was introduced that required a little extra processing in the middle. We updated the method with a flag to do that extra processing. One at a time, we added 20 more data types that each had slightly different needs. Now the formerly simple method is a beast with several arguments that change the flow enough that there are a probably just a few lines that get run for all the types. If we didn’t happen to start with two similar types we probably wouldn’t have built this spaghetti monster.

IMHO, it comes down to awareness/probability about the need to future proof or add defensive behavior.

The spectrum is [YAGNI ---- DRY]

A little less abstract: designing a UX comes to mind. It's one thing to make something workable for you, but to make it for others is way harder.

I saw a fancy HTML table generator that had so many parameters and flags and bells and whistles that it took IIRC hundreds of lines of code to save writing a similar amount of HTML in a handful of different places.

Yes the initial HTML looked similar in these few places, and the resultant usage of the abstraction did not look similar.

But it took a very long time reading each place a table existed and quite a bit longer working out how to get it to generate the small amount of HTML you wanted to generate for a new case.

Definitely would have opted for repetition in this particular scenario.