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>Right now, after pirating it, I have to find the author's patreon / something and contribute some money that way. It shouldn't be this hard to give someone money

Why not just buy the thing you are pirating? That would seem to be the easiest way to give someone money.

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The thinking is the sold product is the inferior product than the pirated version and so rather than reward the people making it worse (Amazon, mostly), trying to reward the person who made something you want in the first place
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Because significantly less of the money you pay goes to the person who wrote the book.
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To quantify that: If the author has self-published on Amazon, 35%-70% goes to the author. (70% above a certain price threshold and assuming the e-book is exclusive to KDP) If published via a publisher, the author is more likely to be getting 10%-15%.
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Calibre (though this is not so simple with Amazon ebooks since they disabled downloading books to your PC)
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Because you're primarily paying for the copyright. The cost of a book is fairly trivial
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Not with paper prices where they are these days.
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I haven't done the research recently, but I assume that the cost of printing and distributing physical books is still less than a lot of people assume it is.
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> (or often more) than the paperback

Not an expert but my guess is that price is supply and demand. And oversupply of physical books will drive the price down since it costs money to warehouse them. There cannot be an oversupply of ebooks.

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On the other hand, there cannot (physically at least) be a supply shortage of ebooks.
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Is it hard to buy non-DRM books?

Well, if you bought Kindle, then I see, but... don't buy Kindle? There are plenty other options.

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Where can I buy DRM free Anathem? The Road? Hunger Games?
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Care to share these other options?
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