There's another post on this article asking for an EV that doesn't: "need internet connectivity via wifi/esim at all? I'm looking for something really simple. A chassis, four wheels, an engine, airbags. Basically my current ICE car, just electric."
I'm hoping that they get a lot of good suggestions, but I'm not holding my breath.
Someone with the requirements you outline is not in the market for any new car, regardless of powertrain.
^^ Not EV, but... :)
You can count the exceptions to this on one hand.