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I think what you're attributing to frugality might be a more a matter of age? Many older folks are just wary of change.

I'm not that old, but every time I upgrade my PC or phone, some of my workflows break and I need to pointlessly re-learn things I'd rather not re-learn. UI buttons get moved around, icons change, some settings are removed and others are added... this was exciting the first ten or twenty times, but it's just tiring now.

Basically, I'm at this stage in life where my reaction to systemd wasn't "oh wow, this is progress" but "ugh, I need to learn how to start, stop, or modify services again". In another ten years, I'll probably just say "no, I'm not doing this again, just let me use my old computer for as long as possible".

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> my reaction to systemd wasn't "oh wow, this is progress" but "ugh, I need to learn how to start, stop, or modify services again"

I must be young at heart while >60 years old; my reaction was "why is everybody whining about it, it's pretty nice, I like it". Same with jj vs git, jj is amazing!

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Possibly there’s an element to this. The iPhone SE still has the home button, which may have been a factor when she bought it. And my father was a bit put off by some of the bells and whistles on luxury cars.
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When I started driving my car had vinyl seats that you had to peel yourself out of on a hot day, a plastic steering wheel that you could barely touch when the sun was out, hand wound windows, fixed seat belts and a handbrake that barely worked.

Even the cheapest car on the market feels luxurious now.

In comparison the difference between a Toyota and a Lexus is marginal.

Expensive cars are mostly about status signalling, we are long past good enough.

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I'm perhaps pathologically frugal myself. I've found for myself the best compromise is to force yourself to pick at least one feature other than cost. We've got a 17 year old Toyota Yaris that I tell myself is for fuel efficiency, and an old Ford Ranger because I wanted at least one of our vehicles to be able to move sheet goods. Technically I could probably walk onto most any lot and pay cash for whatever I wanted, but I know there's zero chance I'll ever do that.
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With cars if you wanted to bias yourself towards newer cars you could prioritize safety features alongside cost.

A Yaris and a Ranger (who doesn’t love a Ranger!) are going to serve you well, but they’re not going to have the active and passive safety features of a more modern car. Put next to cost it makes it a bit harder to perform maladaptive frugality.

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>Expensive cars are mostly about status signalling

Uhm, only if you are counting the most basic utility, then you're right.

However if you actually enjoy driving (A->A driving), there is a HGUE difference and it's not just signaling. It's that you probably can't tell the difference, or don't care.

There is no comparison between driving a new Porsche or Bentley vs a new Toyota or even a Lexus.

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Can you explain why?
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They cannot, because they are wrong. And I say this as a person who has owned no small number of fancy cars (but I got better).

A new base-model Prius is absurdly luxurious compared to a base model car of 1975 or 1985 or even 1995. If you have lived long enough to see this change, then dropping 2x or 3x or 10x the cost of the Prius self-evidently puts you wildly beyond the point of diminishing returns.

The Prius is going to have excellent climate control, and a phenomenal stereo. It's going to have adaptive cruise control, and will warn you when you drift out of your lane, or if you're about to run into an obstacle.

Outside of motorsports-sorts of things, what you get out of more expensive vehicles is of limited utility. Mostly, it's just showing off.

Now, if you want a track weapon, then yeah, you DO get more by spending. But for a regular person who wants to get from point A to point B comfortably and safely? The Prius is fantastic, and it's hard to justify spending more unless you're willing to admit that it's a keeping-up-with-the-Joneses kind of thing.

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> The idea of spending $1,000 on a phone is just something she is unable to bring herself to do

She wouldn’t need to spend that much. You can get a perfectly fine refurbished iPhone 16e for $400.

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My own parents are in their late 90’s. Because they grew up in the wake of the Great Depression, I always assumed their extreme frugality was a function of the economic distress in their formative years. They also properly accounted for the fact that old-age care is very expensive. Parenthetically, most do not seem to anticipate that accelerated burn rate near the EOL. It’s also a phase whose duration is hard to predict.
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I agree your mother should get a new phone with a big screen, but what qualifies as a luxury car? There are Toyotas that cost 6 figures USD.
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I think he was considering a Lexus RX. I doubt he even looked at BMW, Mercedes, etc (not really his style).

His Toyota was probably under $40k. This was back when cars were quite a bit less expensive than now. Nice car for sure, but the Lexus probably would have been a bit more refined.

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How old is your old man?
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Or get a previous gen used iPhone, then she can have both a big screen and feel good about the cheap phone.
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But what is 'luxury'? You may have in mind a Rolls Royce. But maybe he doesn't want that.

If they've been frugal their entire life, they aren't as far along the hedonistic treadmill, a new reliable car is a luxury.

If you're used to darning socks, buying new socks is a luxury.

If I buy a PS2 today, why is that not a splurge, if I didn't have one previously? Yes it doesn't have the best graphics but it's a step up from my PS1. Getting the latest and greatest just because, is keeping up with the Joneses. And that's a path to spending money, not happiness.

The knowledge that you have enough in your bank account if things go to pot, itself brings happiness

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