E.g. look at a Python list. Is it safe? In Python sure, but that's abstracting a C implementation which definitely isn't safe.
If you look at Rust's std::Vec you'll find a very similar story - safe interface over an unsafe implementation.
It isn't as binary as you think.
It's true that safe wrappers around unsafe code sometimes have bugs in them, but it's orders of magnitude easier to get the abstraction right once than to use unsafe correctly in many places sprawled across a large codebase.
His point was that for his programming, he wants to be able to make real pointers and real linked lists with memory unsafe, which Rust makes difficult or opaque. For example with linked list, you could simulate (to avoid unsafe), by either boxing everything (so all refs are actually smart pointers), or you can use a container with scoped memory lifetime, and have integers in an array that are the "next" pointer. In addition to extra complexity, the "integers as edges" doesn't actually solve the complexity, it just means you can't get a bad memory error (you can still have 'pointers' that point to the wrong index if you're rolling your own).
Same with your graph code. Using a COO representation for a graph does in theory make it "memory safe" (albeit more clumsy to use if you are doing pointer-following logic), and it also introduces other subtle bugs if your logic is wrong (e.g. you have edge 100 but actually those nodes were removed, so now you're pointing at the wrong node).
I think the point (which I agree with for things like linked list, graph, compiler) is that depending on your usecase, the "safety" guarantees of rust are just making it harder to write the simplest most understandable code. Now instead of: `Node* next` I have lifetimes, integer references, two collections (nodes and edges) to keep in sync, smart pointers, etc. Previously my complexity was to make sure `next != null`, now its a ton of boilerplate and abstractions, performance hits, or more subtle bugs (like 'next' indices getting out of sync with the array of 'nodes').
If there was a way to explicitly track the lifetime of an arbitrary graph/tree of pointers at compile time, we wouldn't need garbage collection -- its not solvable at compile time, and the complexity has to live somewhere.
What are you asking for exactly?
I guess you are making the point that the user does not have to concern themselves with the unsafe declarations?
You're correcting someone, so it's clear that your understanding isn't universal, and example code is the absolute minimum.