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"all that follows is your own fault" does blame the victim. The abuse is definitely NOT the victim's fault, it's 100% the fault of the abuser. (Most of the time; I won't say there are never mutually-abusive relationships, but most of the time it's one way).

Thing about abusive relationships is, though, many (I would go so far as to say "most" but I'm no expert on the numbers) people in one have lots of options to walk out... but they either don't know they can walk out, or they don't feel that they can.

So telling them it's their own fault for leaving, when they didn't really understand that leaving was an option, does blame them unfairly.

Now, when the analogy is employee-employer, the "don't feel that they can" so often doesn't apply: the psychological reason for not leaving ("but I love him!") is almost never something the employee feels. But the "I feel trapped" reason (it's the only job I could find that makes nearly the money I need for my mortgage, if I leave then we might lose the house, etc.) VERY often applies.

EDIT to add this P.S.: I understand the intent of saying that was to advise people "Hey, walk away when you get the chance, otherwise everything that happens to you was 100% avoidable". But saying "it's your fault" is going too far. I've seen people claim that statements purely intended as advice (like "Hey, if you park your car in THAT neighborhood, you might wanna lock your doors and not leave any valuables in sight so nobody smashes your window") are victim-blaming. But it's really, really about the phrasing. The example I gave was definitely NOT victim blaming. Saying "Well, you were asking for it by parking your car there" WOULD be victim-blaming. The way it's phrased is very important. And saying "all that follows is your fault" is most definitely wrongly blaming the victim.

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If the victim had the option to walk, but did not, then it is his fault for not doing that.

If I know a dog is dangerous, but try to touch it anyway and get bitten - then yes the evil dog bit me, but it was my fault for not reacting to danger. Same way with a abusive company, if you know they are, but still make a contract because it seems convenient, then it is still a abusive company, but your fault for getting into a relationship with them.

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> The abuse is definitely NOT the victim's fault, it's 100% the fault of the abuser.

At some stage, (regardless of law or what’s right), standing in a pedestrian-crossing on a busy thoroughfare is foolish.

Keep hanging out in the crosswalk hoping Bezos will stop for you,

if you want,

but don’t chastise those warning others to move.

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Did you see the P.S. I edited in? I'm not taking objection to "hey, you should move" (or "hey, you probably shouldn't park there if you don't want your car windows smahsed"). It's the specific "it's your fault" phrasing I'm objecting to. It would have been better phrased as "remember, everything that happens afterwards is something you could have avoided". The line can be fuzzy sometimes, and I've definitely seen people throwing around accusations of victim-blaming where such accusations are unwarranted (someone saying "hey, if you're a woman, you'd be wise not to hang out in such-and-such a neighborhood alone after dark" is definitely trying to give advice, not victim-blame, but I've seen something phrased in nearly exactly those terms — I don't recall them verbatim — get unfairly accused of victim-blaming). So I agree with you in many cases. This specific one, though, was phrased as "it's your fault" and I can't agree with that phrasing. It's still the abuser's fault, even if the victim didn't take action to get out of the situation.

But yes, people in abusive relationships (whether in their personal or professional lives) should be advised to get out of there, and should be helped to do so as best as you can. No qualms with that.

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