I realize you're just doing your job as CEO to shape perceptions here, but this is your best effort? The docs should have correctly stated "we don't review ANY new community plugin release". Hint: This is where you would admit the review process itself was meaningless theater intended to provide a false sense of security to users that trusted you.
Just say "I think my users are stupid" and be done with it. The timing of your announcement is obviously not a coincidence. You are genuinely terrible at this.