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If you disconnect the modem, the car can't share any information by itself. In my opinion, that is a huge win.
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There is no way to know for sure that this data is not collected somewhere inside the car and then uploaded at dealer's.
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I think you can substantially reduce the information collected about you, without an enormous amount of time. Security - and any solution - isn't about perfection; it's about improving the situation and making attacks more expensive.

Every HN thread is accompanied by comments saying it's all hopeless.

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