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> including an appalling “it’s all in your head” from her family MD at the time

Oof. That one resonates so much for me - even living in a country with far better healthcare.

There's a term I dislike but is apt: medical misogyny. Basically it's, "systemic, conscious, or unconscious gender biases [which] affect how a patient is treated by the healthcare system."[1]

Systemic in particular is that basically the vast amount of knowledge amassed in the medical sciences has come from studying men. Comparatively little for those not assigned male at birth.

One of my kids has complicated health issues, pretty much from the time they hit puberty. If they hadn't had me (someone born with a penis) advocating for them and attending most medical appointments throughout their teenage years I'm pretty sure they would be dead now.

My most appalling memory is a gastroenterologist who patronisingly told my kid with a diagnosed anxiety disorder which exacerbated awful gut pain from irritable bowel syndrome that, "If you weren't anxious all the time you wouldn't be in so much pain." We both had a good cry in the car park after that appointment. It certainly set treatment of their IBS back a couple of years at least.

(Fortunately after a string of bad ones, we found a GE that treated them with compassion, and not as a gastrointestinal tract with an annoying human around it.)

Whew, yeah, touched a nerve there. So, medical misogyny. It's a thing.

[1] https://australiainstitute.org.au/report/medical-misogyny-in...

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> There's a term I dislike but is apt: medical misogyny. Basically it's, "systemic, conscious, or unconscious gender biases [which] affect how a patient is treated by the healthcare system."

This is a loaded UK-centric policy/humanities term and I would suggest using sex/gender disparities instead which does not imply animus and is therefore much more useful for productive discussion.

Implicit and systemic biases in medicine are very real and supported by ample data.

> Systemic in particular is that basically the vast amount of knowledge amassed in the medical sciences has come from studying men. Comparatively little for those not assigned male at birth.

At least for the US this hasn’t been the case in clinical research for the past 15 years or so which in aggregate leans a bit more female than male if anything. Some specific fields still have sex disparity in clinical research for a variety of reasons but that’s the minority these days.

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> This is a loaded UK-centric policy/humanities term

Yes, the implication of animus is the chief reason for my dislike of the term. The main failing of most alternatives is they don't roll off the tongue as easily or succinctly.

> this hasn’t been the case in clinical research for the past 15 years or so which in aggregate leans a bit more female than male if anything.

Oh yes, I didn't mean to imply the situation isn't improving (and an overcorrection in research at this point in time is probably a good thing, IMO (if it is in fact happening, which I struggle to believe (but that's my issue))).

The body of knowledge in medical science is a lot older than 15 years though, so I would think it will take a lot of time and effort to equalise.

Thanks for your response. I found it constructive and informative to my own thinking.

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I'm a man, and when I was a teenage boy I was tired. All the time. My feet had also shrunk and I lost some height. This all started after a bad concussion, though I'm not sure if he made the connection on that last point.

My doctor's diagnosis? Depression. Oh, and my foot arch must be getting higher.

My sister's best friend going up lost her dad because he was told that the pain from recent dental work couldn't be that bad and that he should just tough it out. The infection broke through into his brain and he died very quickly.

My dad almost died from lupus because doctors wouldn't test him for it because it primarily affects women.

Women, statistically, are more neurotic. I'm sure that affects how doctors diagnose them, and it shouldn't. However, I don't like things like what you're describing to be attributed to misogyny. It could be, but it also could just be that doctors focus way too much on horses when it could actually be a zebra. Hopefully LLMs will help with that - when GPT 3 or so came out way back when, one of the first things I did to test it was to give it what I knew about my condition at the time. It told me 3 tests I should have done, one of which was correct, and one of which I still haven't managed to get a doctor to give me after trying for many years.

If you blame it on misogyny the actual problem won't get fixed.

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I'm not blaming it on misogyny. I thought I was very clear that "medical misogyny" is a commonly used term, and was very specific on the definition.

Also, in this sibling comment thread[1] to yours I discussed with haldujai why we both dislike the term, specifically because of the animus is implies, which is inaccurate.

It is however, a term you will hear in discussions like this, so it is good to know what it means, and the fact that the problem as defined exists, no matter what you call it.

[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48392371

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I totally missed that. Your original post was more of a rant but it sure sounded like you were blaming misogyny. It was a poor comment.
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As a Yank with practically every single demographic, physical, and financial advantage in his favor, I’ve been gaslit by about 8 of 10 specialists. Only car dealerships are worse.

Even obvious things like “I can’t move my left hand after 1 hr of light typing” were excruciating difficult to get diagnosed by “board certified” specialists with 20 years experience. It’s not that they were wrong —- they flat out weren’t even interested in making diagnosis nor conducting a simple test that could lead anywhere. Financial costs and insurance requirements weren’t the issue either.

“My chest hurts after walking slowly to the mailbox. ‘Well, you waited 1 month for this appointment, we’ll do an ultrasound in 2 months, discuss it 1 month later, and then maybe figure out next steps “

I cannot imagine a more dysfunctional aspect of modern society. The Department of Motor Vehicles is a paragon of efficiency by comparison.

Imagine if I told my boss the critical issue escalated by a major customer would be handled that same way…

There are a lot of bad software engineers but they tend to get weeded out since most are employees. Imagine paying them 2x-3x the amount with no direct managerial supervision and even more poorly informed customers. The name for this is “doctors”. The game is played by not trying to be great in medical practice - instead the strategy is only to be financially successful.

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It goes wider than gender bias, also from Australia:

People with intellectual disability continue to receive substandard healthcare as program to train doctors risks closure

~ https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-06-03/intellectual-disabili...

in which an above average fitness footballer with Downs Syndrome has a lung infection ignored by doctors.

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Agreed. Disability, physical as well as intellectual. Age. Neuroatypicallity. The list goes on.

Honestly, I think when you're facing any sort of potentially serious health issue you need a wingman coming to the appointments with you. Someone who can hopefully be a little more emotionally removed. Who can ask the questions you didn't think of to make sure you've covered everything. Who you can debrief with afterwards to make sure you've taken in all the important information you were just scrambling to wrap your head around while you were in the room. And sometimes to argue on your behalf.

Done this with my kidult for most of their life, obviously. Did it with my dad's oncologist visits for prostate cancer. Had it myself with cancer and other times. You just need someone you trust in your corner when you're vulnerable.

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> even living in a country with far better healthcare.

FYI I’m not American. Your medical misogyny comment is dead on, in my opinion. This sort of thing can happen anywhere.

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Yep. Humans are gonna do human things anywhere you find them.

> FYI I’m not American.

Whoops. Guess that was an assumption on my part. Here I am, doing human things…

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It's been super eye-opening to me as an adult how frequent misdiagnoses are. I understand it's good for a doctor to sound confident, but "confidently wrong" is imo much worse than "cautiously wrong". We really need better imaging/diagnostic tools that cut down on human bias; hoping for a star trek tricorder someday.
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> It's been super eye-opening to me as an adult how frequent misdiagnoses are.

I was talking to a specialist in a field where a rare condition has started to trend on TikTok. It was also eye-opening to learn how much they're struggling under the weight of bad referrals for patients who don't have the condition they claim.

That's not to say they aren't sick. The patients are suffering from something. However between hours of TikTok and ChatGPT they can convince themselves they have a condition and learn how to convince their primary care doctor to put in the referral

This doesn't work as much for conditions that have objective criteria like blood tests, where it's easy to filter out the patients who have both negative blood tests and a PCP who hasn't tried to investigate other explanations.

An example of a popular self-diagnosis is MCAS: Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. MCAS specialists are overwhelmed by self-diagnosed patients trying to get appointments who have never even have a tryptase blood test. If you go on to any subreddit or forum for chronic health conditions you will find a large number of people there have been convinced they have MCAS, and new members are told they might have MCAS too.

This is creating a separate fatigue among providers who need to keep their guard up at all times so they can maintain focus on the patients who really have these conditions instead of letting their schedules get destroyed by patients who don't. It's a hard problem.

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"This is creating a separate fatigue among providers who need to keep their guard up at all times so they can maintain focus on the patients who really have these conditions instead of letting their schedules get destroyed by patients who don't. It's a hard problem."

In your example of MCAS, the solutions seems simple, do a blood test first, before really involving the specialist?

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It’s a little more difficult because the blood test is supposed to be performed during a flare up, so it can be negative in an MCAS case if given at the wrong time.

Primary care doctors don’t want to gate the diagnosis so they’ll send the referral over and hope that the specialist will do the work of filtering out the likely and unlikely cases.

The everything-is-MCAS people on the internet use the fact that it can be negative at times in MCAS patients as a wedge to justify ignoring negative test results. In practice it’s not that hard to give someone a standing order for the test and have them get the blood draw when their symptoms flare.

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I know someone with what we thought was MCAS, but it actually ended up being Alpha-gal Syndrome. Knowing that made the whole thing much easier to deal with.
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As someone who is currently going through the diagnostic process for MCAS with a specialist:

A negative Tryptase blood test doesn't mean you don't have it, it could just be that you're not having an active flare-up at the time. So they also prescribe high doses of H1 and H2 blockers and then you report whether symptoms have improved across 2 or more organ systems after a few weeks.

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Not to be a capitalist about it, but given the US health care system, and the fact that there's a diagnostic test for it, that sounds like a business opportunity. Setup an intake website where the customer, err, patient, fills out their information, submits their insurance, and answers a questionnaire, and then the teledoc web portal system gives them lab work to do. Charge the patients for the privilege, and also charge the doctors to use this screening process.
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> and also charge the doctors to use this screening process.

Why would a doctor pay another service to order labs for them?

Sadly there are a lot of clinics popping up to serve the internet self-diagnosers, but not in the way you're talking about. They're built around a single enterprising doctor who either believes the disease is undetectable by normal tests, or who is aware that they're stringing patients along but likes the money. If someone opens a specialty clinic for an internet-popular disorder, they have a perpetual line of patients who will gladly pay for a doctor to tell them what they want to hear.

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I dunno, LifeBAC's a good example of something thats not really in line with what you mentioned but has good reason to exist given the typical relationship most people have with their drs
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> Not to be a capitalist about it, but given the US health care system

Whats that supposed to mean? Most countries have private healthcare too. Sometimes it is as popular as public i.e. Australia 45% is private vs 55% in US.

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In Australia, this is mostly because there are tax implications for not being a private health care member past the age of 31 when you earn over a certain amount. Our public system is great (and actually exists).
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> In Australia, this is mostly because

it's an attempt to starve funding from the public system. (Howard was responsible for destroying the first universal healthcare system in australia before the later second attempt)

The private hospitals specialise in elective uncomplicated day ops because the returns from the medicare payment are better than complicated cases that get the same fixed payment. It's also why they transfer anything slightly complicated into public hospitals.

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Yeah, I've had to fight to get medication that the doc insisted "doesn't work" - had to cite actual studies that showed blatant results showing effectiveness. The way society has this widespread "appeal to authority" built in around doctors drives me crazy, because they are treated as if they are the ultimate authority on health/medical, but are often woefully under-educated about specific subtle details that can end up being critical to the management/prognosis of a health issue.

I have a worsened lifelong issue because of repeated sub-optimal "solutions" to a problem, such that the best long-term solution was found by the THIRD doctor that looked at my problem. "Solutions" from the first two guaranteed my problem will forever be worse than it would have been (solely due to their treatments), if only the third doc's solution had been considered/presented first. Even worse, I was a teenager and young adult when dealing with the first two. My mistake for not doing my own comprehensive research, apparently -- the thing we entrust doctors to do for us...

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The part that doctors see that individuals don't is the flood of people who are chronically freaking out over nothing.

There are going to be casualties of doctor's triage, and those stories will be beyond upsetting, but most would agree its better than an 8 month wait to get an MRI.

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Right. For every example of a doctor missing a diagnosis, there 100 examples of that doctor correctly telling people that they are likely suffering from a temporary condition that will work itself out or not be resolved by any further testing or medicine.
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All the more reason to have better diagnostic tools (not to mention faster imaging)! All humans are fallible; I hope one day diagnosis is the easiest part of a doctor's job.
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You’re assuming a diagnostic test can be designed for 100% accuracy and this is not possible as disease states are spectrums not discrete categories.

“Normal ranges” in lab values are just confidence intervals of population means which by definition that some normal people will have abnormal values and some patients with a disease will have normal values.

The same is true for imaging. For example we use size criteria a lot. There is nothing different about 4.1 cm adrenal nodules and 3.9 cm nodules to explain why the former gets surgery and the latter gets called benign other than pre-test probability and acceptable false positive and false negative rates, whether this is measured by a human or AI.

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Eventually, diagnostic systems (whether AI or human+AI) will significantly outperform current human doctors.

If humans have different normal ranges, then the tests will be specific to the individual, based on their health history, DNA, tissue simulation in digital environment, etc. If adrenal nodules of similar diameter behave differently, then the tests will inspect more than just diameter.

The data to make the correct diagnosis is out there, we just don't have the tools or processing power to use it yet.

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You’re loosely alluding to personalized medicine but envisioning is a very futuristic state we are very slowly moving towards. What you suggest is great but we are a few decades and several technological breakthroughs as well as new discoveries away from coming to what you are talking.

DNA is increasingly used in oncology, but is difficult to interpret elsewhere and in many tumors is not insightful.

> The data to make the correct diagnosis is out there, we just don't have the tools or processing power to use it yet.

Maybe, but we don’t know what or how to measure it.

> If adrenal nodules of similar diameter behave differently, then the tests will inspect more than just diameter.

Everything investigated so far such as: biopsies with histology, MR spectroscopy and measuring the diffusivity of water molecules has not been reliable in differentiating benign or malignant nodules so we still use size. These are nontrivial problems. There are technical limitations to our measuring tools.

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You do have to worry/wonder how many people are in psych hospitals, jail, or 6ft under when something like this might be the reason.
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I had a much more common autoimmune disease, adult-onset Type 1 Diabetes (LADA), determined to be health anxiety by a very large, major renowned hospital who should have known better. It led to over a year of continued illness before finally I was diagnosed at an ER. I'm sure some people have psychosomatic or anxiety based illnesses, but it's rather grating to be told by a psychologist that you're worrying yourself to death when you are very, very sure that's not the issue.
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How did it take a year to diagnose diabetes? Are there symptoms of Type 1 that aren't downstream of blood sugar? I, some chucklefuck with some first aid experience, can figure out if someone is hypo/hyperglycemic by smell.
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LADA comes on slowly compared to regular juvenile onset type 1. With regular T1, you'll be in diabetic ketoacidosis and hospitalized within 3 months. LADA can take a year or two, sometimes even longer. I had Celiac diagnosed a year prior, and many of the symptoms seemed the same - fatigue after meals, heartburn, other digestive issues - and that confused things. Plus I had terrible medical care for the first 6 months while I was losing weight and wondering what was happening.
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Adult onset. It can come on slowly (as in over the course of a year). And many downstream symptoms include mood changes. Hard to know it is blood sugar related if you don't test blood sugar levels.

Really glad you can smell it on people, smell is a powerful diagnostic tool that few people are trained on.

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That’s the bit I don’t get: isn’t glucose testing by the health care system fairly common with any sort of “I don’t know what’s going on, let’s order some labs and see what comes back” screening/testing panel?
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I was told I had 'prediabetes' and actually got my own glucose testing kit. It didn't seem far off at that time, though, possibly because I was having such a difficult time eating anything. I didn't really know what to look for, though. Glucose being above 100 when I woke up? Over 180 a couple hours after eating? I tested a lot but didn't have any doctor support or interpretation.

At the hospital, I saw a gastroenterologist who specialized in Celiac, because I had just been diagnosed with Celiac a year earlier and many of my symptoms seemed related to digestion. He absolutely should have done diabetes tests. On the last day of the 2 weeks I was there, he said "It could be type 1 diabetes... some people get that too" but didn't order any tests. When I was diagnosed at the ER another year later, my glucose was 650 (very high) and had been averaging 300 (it should be ~85). So yeah, the doctors were negligent, in my assessment.

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OP mentioned being told he was just worrying by a psychiatrist. They're used to seeing all sorts of psychosomatic issues caused by stress and anxiety. The old 'think horses not zebras' puts blinders on, especially when there's also claims that the US health system over-tests for things.
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I told my gastro that I was on a very restricted diet. I had lost a ton of weight from not being able to swallow food and though it was related to Celiac or food allergies, and they really didn't listen to what I was saying. The psychologist told me that I was "so worried about gluten that I was starving myself", which was quite offensive, actually. I had been in phsyical pain every day for months and went from 180 lbs to 120 (at 5'10") until I found a liquid diet that worked for me and regained weight. I had no idea carbohydrates were an issue.
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It is such a standard panel its not funny. That said, a psychologist is not an MD and cannot order labs, typically.
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It's common to get a spot/random glucose test as part of a metabolic panel, but not that common to get an A1C or certainly auto-antibody tests, in my experience.
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A1c has become a lot more common over the last 20 years… adoption of new standards can take a while in healthcare, even stuff that has existed for a while
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Once you have psych. diagnosis its over, doctors see you throught that lens. Ah yes, he has anxiety, of course his symptoms are psychosomatic and there is no need for more testing. My uncle was schizophrenic, medicated and living OK life after years and years of delusions. He also had untreated diabetes for years, but was on the right track. He went to doctor with pain in belly, they sent him home and told him nothing is wrong, couple days after he died from ruptured gallbladder...
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What I learned is also that often doctors will shrug at an unclear illness, and wait for it to become severe enough that it's obvious. Once I had 650 glucose and a A1C of 12, they couldn't say it was just a psych problem.
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Had a piece of my spine severed (tail bone and some above it) and was told it was all in my head.

Even the uncontrolled, daily falling.

It’s wild how much of a practice medicine is but people take the first diagnostic opinion because their profession

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I honestly hate the US medical system for this. Basically you get scolded for not being proactive and ignoring symptoms, but if you are proactive and even slightly worried about something they treat you like a hypochondriac.
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I practiced medicine in the U.S. and am now retired. This is such a complicated problem, not insoluble; and I would not want to explain away failures of the system.

I spent the majority of my career at a major tertiary referral center. One patient sent to me had all the signs and symptoms of Beçhet’s disease. To me it was obvious; but putting myself in the shoes of the rural primary care physician, who has never seen a case, I can imagine the constellation of presenting signs and symptoms would have been just a muddle. I can think of perhaps hundreds of similar cases.

I’m sure I missed important findings in my career. I know it. Much of what is missing nowadays is the time to listen deeply to what the patient is telling you and to think about it. If you have even rudimentary medical knowledge + time + humility and a willingness to constantly revisit the diagnosis, any doctor will do OK. But it’s a tall order in 2026. I’m grateful to have practiced at an institution that afforded me the time to listen and think. I gather that many physicians now are suffering from exhaustion of curiosity and maybe empathy.

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This. Today, well-meaning doctors cannot spend more than 5-10 minutes between seeing patients. Medical shows on TV show teams of physicians working on one or two patients per week. The reality in my part of the world is that each doctor sees 10 or so patients each day, and are not available for phone calls. (Even in 2026 my parents can reach their doctors by phone, and they spend the time to chat. But they are in New York and I live in Florida. )

I have seen my current PC doctor for 25 years now and he knows me well enough to spot significant changes. But he's retiring in a few months and I have no idea how to find a new doctor. My current doctor has no recommendations for me. (I'm not asking here for any if that's what this sounds like.)

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Pseudo-exhaustive knowledge disorder (PEKnoD) is a meta-psychosis that afflicts most medical professionals. It's a plague.
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Ooof, really sorry to hear that. I'm glad she ultimately got the treatment she needed.

In my case, the misdiagnosis up front was entirely reasonable. (EDIT: Well, maybe not. See below.) The generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis from my PCP made a lot of sense given what was happening. I hadn't had delusions yet at that point. It was... a mixture of panic attacks, night sweats, jaw pain and a greatly increased level of anxiety compared to my baseline.

My PCP did run a bevy of tests (chest x-ray, and took tons of blood) to try and rule out anything biological.

Given what was known at the time, I think my PCP did the right thing. And when my symptoms really escalated (delusions, suicidal ideation, falling and hitting my head), my PCP suggested going to an ER. And that's what we did.

I think it was the ER that really dropped the ball. Given the sudden onset of everything, the fact that they didn't get me in front of a neurologist is, in retrospect, really quite baffling. That's when I went to a psychiatric hospital, where I spent 3 nights.

I only got out of that hospital due to total luck. My neighbor was old college buddies with a neurosurgeon. (We had no idea about it. It just came up randomly when my neighbor was dropping my son off at home for us.) That was the critical connection because he ended up talking to the neurology department at Brigham and Women's, then talked to the psychiatric hospital and was the one who facilitated my transfer.

My wife tried to do it on her own but they wouldn't allow it because I had been medically cleared. She had to give 3 days notice to pull me out. Or otherwise, by default, I would see a neurologist after 2 weeks. According to the psychiatric facility.

I really don't know if I would have made it that long. The encephalitis wouldn't have killed me in that span of time, but I was in an extremely dark place.

I'm also really lucky that this is an autoimmune disorder that has a pretty objective diagnostic criteria: a positive antibody test in your cerebral spinal fluid. You "just: need to have your spine tapped to get that though. Fun times.

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Absolutely not to defend what happened but that GAD diagnosis sets in motion the anchoring, because now you have an “established” (and recent) psychiatric diagnosis and it’s all too common that an ED is going to heavily prioritize this as a progression. EDs are just very bad in general about reconsidering a differential for a (new) chronic condition unless it’s flashing like a neon sign, especially when there is an easy enough dispo to reach for, transfer to psych in this case. But even worse, you already had an extensive outpatient workup to hang their hat on. From the history provided the history of a fall is the only thing mentioned that sounded like a slam dunk brewing neurological deficit, and it is not very specific, half the ED are people that fell. I’m sure you’ve read the MDM portion of the ED note, it may or may not give some idea of why neurological conditions were dismissed. Very unfortunate.
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That is an interesting take that I hadn't thought of. Thank you for that perspective.

I actually haven't been able to get the ED notes from that first ER visit yet. They are in a different system than Brigham and Women's, which made it super easy to read notes in their app.

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Hey sushi, we've chit chatted before but I'll stay anonymous here.

So you have had a life changing experience. I am really sorry for all the pain and fear this has caused you and your family. Iv ig is a miracle for autoimmune trainwrecks. It saved one of my loved ones lives too. I am so glad you are still here with us.

I know nothing about your recent reality. I can tell you this. Psychosis, immense fear, and near death experiences aren't something to brush off. Perhaps best not dwelled on, but I hope you either stay in therapy or begin therapy with someone who understands trauma. Not to discuss it as trauma, but to keep tabs.

You may be good to work! Good to be a kick ass dad! But if there are things you haven't dealt with here they may rear their head at a random inconvenient time down the road. Maybe you are all good, I bet you are. But please remember to take care of your mind.

Wishing you and your family the best. Stay well!

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Good they eventually found out... Falling doesn't feel like some psychiatric disorder: I know someone who fell because he threw himself out of the window and that was due to him being nuts. Now I'm not a doctor: maybe someone with psychiatric disorder can just fall out of crazyness but that just sounds weird.

Be well mate.

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I've heard so many stories, and have had so much recent close experience of those stories not ending on a high note. It's nice to hear that Burnt Sushi's and your wife's experience do sometimes end in a very positive way.
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> I’m not entirely sure why I’m mentioning this, other than I sympathize deeply with your wife.

Reminder that he is the one who is ill, not his wife.

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