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> Phones don't actually get slower, or, they shouldn't, if they are reasonably well maintained.

Relative to ever rising hw requirements of apps they obviously get slower. That is why I personally buy new phones.

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Have you ever owned an older phone or older computer in general? Whether hardware or software caused, they get slower.
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Only if the software gets slower. My 2015 MacBook Air is slow with the latest supported macOS but runs Linux super snappy for the same tasks.
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Unless the thermal paste goes bad and the fans get clogged and you get thermally throttled.
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Battery swaps usually don't work very well, unfortunately.
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