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About stress: how's your HRV? Look into sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, vagus nerve and it's relation to HRV. It gives you a more objective way to measure stress.

In particular, Garmin smartwatches have a very good measurement and intepretation with their "stress" and "body battery" features.

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I initially thought about sharing this about stress and didn't, but then I read your post.

That's how I learned I was stressed while working. I have a Garmin watch and everyday I get an alert telling me I had a stressful day.

During the day if I do a little check-in where I observe how I feel, I often notice a lot of muscle tension, especially in the plexus area, and that I stop breathing for extended periods of time. I try to consciously relax, which would work for a few minutes before the tension comes again. I end up being exhausted almost everyday. My watch has been telling me I'm either in "recovery" or "strained" for months.

Stress can be difficult to notice, especially when you're stressed.

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It's low when I've got a job, or need a job. Double, when I don't. I have years of data on this.
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Do you drink coffee?
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Yes. I've tried avoiding caffeine during my year off. When I don't (even after weeks of abstinence) I sleep 12-14 hours a night and still need a nap during the day, which is incompatible with having both a day job and something approaching a well-lived life involving laundry. So I drink caffeine, to be compatible with the labour market.
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You need more than weeks of abstinence, friend. Ive generally noticed 1-2 months are necessary to recover from all of the awful side effects of caffeine (from drinking a tiny amount of coffee per day - my body is just very sensitive to it). I urge you to try it.
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OK, from tomorrow, I will abstain for caffeine until 21st September at the earliest and take a read. Let's see if I will still have a job :)
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> all of the awful side effects of caffeine

If I may ask as a coffee addict, what were some of these that affected you specifically?

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Have tired ADHD diagnosis?
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I have one :) Unmedicated. Side-effects impacted me more than the meds helped.
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What were the side effects? High blood pressure, feeling like a "zombie", sleep getting worse?

I'd try centanafadine and see a top ADHD specialist. There are a lot of variables: molecule, dose, release profile, melatonin timing.

What is worth checking:

* Comorbid anxiety or trauma symptoms (PTSD)

* Hormone imbalance

Just because your blood work is perfect, it doesn't mean all is good. I have hypomagnesemia - the tests were perfect, yet my body needs way more magnesium to function properly.

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BP (manageable), tinnitus (BP related), prostate discharge (due to muscular tension), sleep getting worse as the week would go on until I'd have to stop. Sleep wasn't restful at all, which was the main problem. I'd feel like I'd closed my eyes and become unconscious, rather than actually asleep. I'd wake up in the morning like I'd been kept awake as some kind of torture all night, but with no recollection of it.

I desperately wanted ADHD meds to help, but in the end the juice just wasn't worth the squeeze so I stopped. I tried all 3 or 4 different stims and 2 non-stims.

Thank you for the pointers, I will look into them.

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For the stims, I've found that most doctors titrate up the dose way to fast.

For example for methylphenidate, I'd recommend starting on 2.5mg (1/2 the smallest pill) for a week or two, until side effects go away, and then up the dose to 5mg.

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