The colloquial term is clear in context, and it draws its boundaries in useful places. If academia prefers other boundaries to simplify its formal definitions, that’s understandable. But the rest of us shouldn’t restrict our language in that way.
E.g. many practising programmers don't know that tracing moving collectors are used to avoid some of the high overheads associated with memory allocators (malloc/free), which are themselves big and complex beasts that make up substantial "runtimes" (another misused and misleading word).
If anything, I often see a bias against tracing GCs from the people misusing the term, to "hype up" their choice of language that it must be better for not having (tracing) GC, when it usually just has ref counting which in many metrics is actually worse, given equal usage -- rust/cpp gets away from that because they only use it on a handful of objects, other lifetimes being driven by RAII, which is pretty much just compile-time decidable ref counting?
Another distinction without a difference that is really just giving a name to a misconception is the notion of "a runtime". When I learnt C in the late 80s or early 90s, the book said something like, "C is not just the language, but a rich runtime". Indeed, modern malloc/free implementations mean that a C program ends up needing a larger and more elaborate runtime than a program in some educational language that uses a trivial implementation of a mark-and-sweep collector. Modern malloc/free allocators also sometimes come with an impressive set of tuning knobs. It's just that people who haven't had a lot of experience writing large programs in low-level languages don't know about them (or they just work to avoid allocations as much as possible, because that's what they've been told to do).
As for me personally, I consider refcounting and GC overlapping categories. I am perfectly willing to call CPython’s reference counting plus cycle collector a form of garbage collection, because it is transparent to the programmer. Every memory management technique has tradeoffs and pathological edge cases, but since you don’t have to consider them in the ordinary course of programming I’d say it counts. If you had to break cycles manually, or to annotate which references should be counted, I’d call that refcounting but not GC – as in the C++ stdlib.
The problem is that there are many differences in memory management techniques that offer different tradeoffs, and the difference between refcounting and tracing is not necessarily the biggest of them.
For example, one of the most important distinctions in memory management is whether it optimises for footprint or speed (or some compromise), and the line isn't where people who don't understand memory management think it is. It can matter (often a great deal) whether you determine that an object is dead dynamically (say, by counting references) or statically (by manually writing free or by having the language track lifetimes), but it doesn't matter as much as whether or not the mechanism needs to know when objects are dead in the first place. So reference counting, manual free, static lifetimes, and even non-moving mark-and-sweep tracing collectors (like Go's) generally optimise for footprint at the expense of speed (although different allocators can have some control over that tradeoff), while arenas and tracing moving collectors optimise for speed at the expense of footprint (although here, too, they have some control over the tradeoff). So the line for this super-important tradeoff is between [manual, static, refcoutning] and [arenas, moving tracing]; non-moving tracing collectors are somewhere in between but may be closer to the first group.
People who don't understand memory management and may not have a lot of experience in low-level programming sometimes think that manual or statically-determined freeing must be fast because low-level languages, which inexperienced people think are fast, use them. In fact, low-level languages have some concerns that are much more important than speed and that preclude them from optimisations such as moving pointers. To get around that performance handicap, these languages try to avoid using their heap memory management as much as possible because they're using a rather slow technique because of their constraints.
Not anymore.
You're absolutely right that one of the reasons moving collectors were not used more widely was that, while their throughput was always very impressive, their latency wasn't that great, but that changed a few years ago.
E.g. Generational ZGC in OpenJDK (released in September '23) introduces hiccups or "pauses" that are not dependent on the size of the liveset and are no larger than latency hiccups introduced by the OS (assuming no realtime kernel), i.e. <1ms (and typically <<1ms) up to heaps of 16TB. In fact, the latency can be smoother than approaches that have an explicit free operation and require maintaining a free list, as freeing a large object graph can be quite slow and occur in surprising places.
So modern moving GCs no longer have a latency penalty, but this is newer than even ChatGPT.
However, it does inspire me to write.. The kernel of all this terminology confusion is under-exposure of industrial programmers to not just academic terminology, but also the very design space you mention (which has always been nicely covered by Jones' outstanding book). Just to take an example from the root of this thread:
>widespread common usage of the term “garbage collected programming language” which specifically contrasts manual languages like C++ or Rust against garbage collected ones
Boehm-Wiser conservative collection for C, among the most manual languages of all, pre-dates its very first ANSI 1989 standard.
This underexposure itself is downstream of the kinds of oversimplifications/lies of marketing and in this particular case came from Java. The evolution I witnessed was roughly 1) linking Boehm with -lgc and deleting (or #define'ing away) all your `free()` calls is conservative - to be precise you need compiler aid and a lot of programmers are "not perfect==awful" personality types, 2) Sun Microsystems wants to leverage a lot of reliability issues with C code and become The Platform and spends gobs of money to win hearts & minds, partly succeeding, 3) part of its ad-warfare against the then WIntel hegemony and/or tutorials/introductory material for Junior Programmers (often the target of "be more reliable" material) plays fast & loose with GC terminology because marketing plays fast & loose structurally for fun but mostly profit, 4) because human language really does == language usage a la Quine, everyone in the industry re-defines what "GC" means to bind it to a programming language instead of to a specific run-time, 5) industry & academics use different language, confusion ensues and so here we are.
This is not even the 100th time that either explicit or implicit forces of marketing have achieved confusion analogously to this. If you believe most people don't need much of what they spend on then confusion is arguably intrinsic to marketing of ideas/products. The highly misleading but suggestive metaphorical language used all over "AI" in both research and in product-lines is a more current case of this, leading anyone who knows much to have to qualify "not AGI" or other such junk just to have a conversation.
So, what is my point? Basically just that the larger problem here will persist as long as there is money to be made/attention to be garnered by sowing confusion/having people talk past each other/think some product is more than it really is. I have no meta-strategy in my back pocket to block these successful confusions, but it does seem worth being aware of it.
If the definition of a word/concept does not match how the word is used in real life, the definition is wrong. After all, semantics is about common understanding of concepts. If your definition of a word doesn't match how it's used, using that definition is not beneficial to use.
It's just that this is not the predominant way C programs are written and for everything else you do need to somehow manage the memory, malloced objects would otherwise just leak. What exactly is the issue, the real life use of C requires manually adding free calls, is it not? So it doesn't do automatic memory management for you.
Now, of course reference counting can be used as a part of a garbage collector. But that doesn't mean any language that allows you to implement reference counting as a library, is a garbage-collected language.
We are in agreement here, C++ is not a GCd language. What I (we) claim is that reference counting is a GC, that's it. A language that uses RC 100% would be a GCd language, like python (okay, it does have a tracing GC to collect cycles as well). C++/rust has the necessary language primitives to express reference counting as a library, but that's an optional thing, usually applied only to select few objects. That's a bit like Java can also just allocate a byte buffer and do manual memory management, neither makes a language GCd/manual in and of itself.
The concept of "a garbage-collected language" is not well-defined. There are languages, like Java, Rust, and Python that depend on a garbage collection mechanism, and languages like C, C++ and Zig, which don't. C++ happens to offer a GC in its standard library, however.
That "working developers" use some other terminology is not what matters. What matters is whether the terminology they're using expresses important distinctions or not (and may, in fact, express misconceptions about distinctions). In the case of memory management (as in the case of "transpiles", although there the damage isn't as high), the colloquial terminology is misleading as it is used to hint at distinctions (such as about performance) which are simply not there. E.g. moving GCs are used to avoid the performance overheads of malloc/free, especially in large and/or concurrent programs. This performance overhead that C and C++ suffer from is well known to experienced low-level developers (which is partly why large programs that benefit from moving collectors are relatively rarely written in such languages anymore), but now the terminology is used as a cargo cult, which leads to conclusions that are sometimes the very opposite of what's really going on.