>All I do is read books, paint, fix-up the house, tend to the garden, play boardgames, and generally do things that require me to be present when at home with my wife and child, rather than in someone else's version of the world
replyAnd post on HN? :)
What else am I to do when waiting for my chip simulations to run? Be present with my colleagues? There are limits.
replyI'm of two minds about this. Facebook and Instagram keep me connected with friends, new and old. True, they're filled with algorithmic crap now, but when I tried ditching them for a while, it didn't improve my connections with people. If anything, I lost touch with people because that's where they were. I'm much better off knowing what my friends -- many who have scattered -- are up to, and giving casual updates myself.
replyOn the other hand, yes, absolutely put the phone down at the dinner table and engage with those who are present. No questions there.
Finally, my kids are getting to the age where their friends have phones and use them to communicate. My kids don't yet have that and are reliant on me to text parents, which is a lot of friction for everyone involved. Their summer is very boring because they hardly get to see their friends. So, sure, fight boredom by entertaining yourself, but that's a lonely existence.
Note that by leaving them by the front door I don't mean abstain. I relent that it is necessary for communication now we don't use letters or have landlines, but I need to actively walk to the front door if I wish to do that. Notifications are something I check when I leave the house in the morning, or briefly after the gym in the car perhaps, rather than being all I do for the majority of the time I sit in the house. The act of it being at the entrance and allowed no further is enough.
reply