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People on here will literally write walls of text over the most mundane nonsense.

Get a free standing unit like this: https://i.imgur.com/giewYeK.png

Shove the plastic tube outlet out of a window. End of installation. You're welcome.

Seriously why is this so difficult and what is this learned helplessness? You would rather be miserable than do literally anything?

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I have one like that and so do my parents. But they're much less effective than classic split AC with an outside unit. A regular split can cool a bigger room to 24 even when it's 38 outside and is basically completely quiet. A portable AC cools down smaller rooms to ~27 when it's 38 outside and is noisy (50-60 dB).
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That's cause you got the cheapest one and think all of them are like that. They come in different power levels and you can in fact find ones that are quiet.
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People don't know which to buy. I got a really big one that doesn't make a lot of noise. I think on dehumidify it can suck 1.5 liters per hour out of the room. I think this because with 98% humidity the 0.5 liter tank is full in <20 minutes. The tank isn't removable, it has a lid 3 cm above the floor. Just low enough that one cant leave a large enough container under it.
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Some of them use the waste heat to evaporate any accumulated water and have it come out of the heat exhaust as slightly humid air. The one I got when I lived in Hawaii had a hole where water would drip out of and you could attach a hose to it.
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If the bottom of the window is 80cm or less from the floor you need safety glass. Therefore most windows are much further from the floor than that tube can reach. We also have very few sliding windows that allow such neat finish. A lot open at the top. Many turn left or right and are half the size of a door (because there is no AC) Running a crappy tiny portable single hose AC with the window open doesn't do much. Extra fun if you have roller shutters (for shade) with windows that open outwards.
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Duct tape and card board is your friend. Get creative.
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right, but first have to wait for the wife to overheat enough to allow it.
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you don't need that on balcony, most of the apartments have balcony, stupid excuse, same applies for historical buildings with balcony

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

If there is a balcony and you install it there, so nobody can see it from the street, is there an AC installed? Can you even use your balcony the way you want and place there big cardboard box if you need? Same thing. Facade is a one thing, balcony is something completely different, if you can't even use it, what's the point in having it.

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