Get a free standing unit like this: https://i.imgur.com/giewYeK.png
Shove the plastic tube outlet out of a window. End of installation. You're welcome.
Seriously why is this so difficult and what is this learned helplessness? You would rather be miserable than do literally anything?
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
If there is a balcony and you install it there, so nobody can see it from the street, is there an AC installed? Can you even use your balcony the way you want and place there big cardboard box if you need? Same thing. Facade is a one thing, balcony is something completely different, if you can't even use it, what's the point in having it.