The “should” trap is a big one. I found The Work by Byron Katie to be a very effective self-guided method for addressing those thoughts.

I didn't really think about your third bulletpoint, that does make sense.

I think it's also good to be aware when you're lying to yourself. An easy example is how people talk about their gym membership.

"Oh, I would go, but I am so busy with X", or "I am already doing Y, so I don't really need to go". It's always a non-reason, while the true reason is that they just do not see a reason to go.

I don't get why this happens with work, though. I didn't love my job, but I definitely loved the colleagues, and I felt like I didn't do that bad of a job (ofcourse I see this differently now, I was doing a bad job).