I have a dual xeon also, same as OP: Ivy Bridge + 128GB DRAM, and was never really able to get decent LLM performance out of it. So I ended up biting the bullet and adding a "budget tier" A4000 20GB GPU. Too bad all my DRAM is wasted now--not sure if there is a way to take advantage of lots of DRAM once you move over to having inference happening on the GPU.