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Ha - ok understood, although in my specific case I think this is better than anything I would have written. I edited it pretty hard to get it to say what I wanted it to say, so not sure if that counts. Thanks anyway for the feedback.
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This is one of the cases where I think people really want a personal touch. Your README is the "hook" of a project, it's the first thing we see, and so you want to advertise "this thing was made with thought and care". Also the README does not need to be exhaustive, it should be a form of advertising and you can nest the lower level documentation in a /docs and link the sections from the README.
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