I went through a similar loop around my own diagnosis as well ("great, that'd be one more thing to deal with,") but stimulants have had a significantly positive impact on my life.

> But I can't escape the next step which is that you still have to do go out and do all the same stuff anyway

That's exactly what I was afraid of, but it turns out that actually getting dopamine for completing tasks goes a long way to blunting the existential dread of there being yet more tasks. Consistently now whenever I feel crappy it correlates back to either (a) crap sleep or (b) forgot to take my meds.

Just my 2c, YMMV, everyone's different, etc. I had a hard time really understanding the anecdotes I got from medicated friends myself, but I'd encourage others who suspect they have ADHD to try even a very low dose of something for ~3 weeks and see how they feel after. I'm at the lowest "clinically effective" dose of my prescription and the effect is still significant.

I feel similarly. I have a lot of tendencies characteristic of ADHD, but I'm undiagnosed, and I don't think I'll seek out the diagnosis either. I don't intend to take any stimulants, and the particular identity of having ADHD means little to me, so the diagnosis wouldn't change much. As you say, I'd still need to figure out how to live this life in these conditions anyway.