The same person managing the company's email accounts and whatnot.

I didn't say it's fire-and-forget. I'm saying all that is maybe a day of work every 3 months.

My company is not even the same ballpark, but even we already have people for it. And doesn't include the fact that you can get a colo location and just a MSP or a contractor to do it for you

All of the answers to your questions above are in gp's comment already:

> A company of the size that this is worthwhile for, probably has dedicated devops on staff already