Resembled with above experience. Wanting to be self aware, I spent couple of years in confusion. Rather only thinking about what I am doing at any point of time, and trying to be aware, not being involved fully and not able to enjoy. spent few years like that, it is really difficult situation to be in. At some point, I realized, the self-awareness is towards emotions that are arising in myself, mainly, not on particular thoughts. means while speaking with others, if there is any strong emotion particular negative emotion raising in oneself. just being aware about that strong emotion actually cools down, and then it becomes a habit. and over a period of time along with emotion awareness also comes. and then we can still continue to enjoy the whole party.

That's not self-awareness. You have it all backwards.

Awareness is about the senses, as well as having the experience to predict what will happen next, and plan accordingly. Awareness is 100% about balancing the sensing and the planning.

The sensing is important, but not for its own sake. If you overcorrect in that direction, it's just self-indulgence and hedonism.