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one week later: "It says 'You're absolutely right! Let me look at the seams so I'm checking, not guessing—' and I guess that's when my SSD melted."
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Turns out the SSD was load-bearing.
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That's way slower than I thought it would be. I struggle to imagine a use case.

If you had a deadly condition, and no diagnosis worked, and a specific model had the answer... past that I wouldn't use it.

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