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The UK seems fairly relaxed about constituent parts leaving (Scotland was given a referendum, NI has option to leave if they want) - which I don't believe applies to US states?
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The Scottish referendum was gifted by the UK, as was its parliament which can theoretically be dissolved by the UK at any time.

The NI thing is different, involving a peace treaty between the UK and Ireland.

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Relaxed is not the word at all. Northern Ireland is a powderkeg and the UK government has known that for decades.

The Scottish referendum did not use neutral international observers, and had extremely biased coverage by state media. The BBC itself even tried to stir up forms of violent unionism. (Look up the so called "passionate Highlander", a drunken loyalist type who talked about defending the union to the death "in the name of Jesus Christ".)

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Well, I'm an independence supporting Scot and I don't have any concerns about the actual running of the referendum - I do agree that the BBC coverage was biased but I think that is largely because they are "conservative" (note the small C) in the sense of having a bias towards preserving the status-quo. This was pretty clear from the Brexit referendum where I thought they favoured the status-quo there and, as a Remainer, I guess I was pretty happy with that!
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The BBC is institutionally biased because they stand to lose 10% of their licence fee. I have heard they received some EU funding, but from their POV they probably made some money from exporting programming within the common market. I voted Remain myself although I do have some misgivings about the EU. (I recently debated an American online who thought the BBC's current panic about licence fees was to do with USAID. Not even close. Although British TV has been swamped with US imports.)

"The 45" has a resonance in Scottish history and it is a bit of a coincidence the Yes vote was stuck at that rather than 47 or 44.

Having neutral international observers was a no brainer, but the SNP often seems to trust the system they're trying to break up much more than it should.

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