Yeah... I do have some issues with the book. I think that the cards tend to be weighted towards things that women care more about, which naturally means that women end up being responsible for more of them. And different cards require different amounts of time to handle.

The way that I’ve tried to handle this is to focus on equalizing “total time per week spent on managing cards”, which requires time-tracking but is more fair, and also negotiating a modified set of cards.

The book kinda suggests both of those but I think that in practice most people don’t implement them.

And, as you said, the tone of the book can be off-putting at times. I still feel like it’s the best available resource for this problem.