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https://forgejo.org/ promises to be this, have only lightly used it on https://codeberg.org/ but it seems nice?
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Forgejo is pretty neat. Their CI story is sad because it's based on act and it lacks features like GH Apps so service accounts are not possible (using a user account as service is barf).

I self-host it and its pretty easy to have uptime higher than github when you have 3 users total.

Absolutely do not recommend using GitLab.

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"Forgejo is a self-hosted lightweight software forge"

That says absolutely nothing. The "What is Forgejo?" question is unanswered and instead you get a lot of words about their values, their inclusivity, etc. And the next thing in the docs is how to install it. It's ridiculous.

I still don't know what it is or what it does.

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Have you looked into Forgejo?
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