A black hole happens when there is enough gravity that space gets pulled inwards somewhere, at at least the speed of light.
Gravity falls off with distance, and the distance where space is being pulled inwards at exactly the speed of light is called the "event horizon".
It has this name because speed of light is the speed of causality: events that happen further in, are "over the horizon" for you, they cannot causally influence you.
(Very uneducated person here) I’ve always wondered if large objects caused gravity, or if maybe large objects form in the places where there is a lot of gravity. This is probably elementary, but I’ve never looked in to it. Maybe today is the day!
Mass represents a zone where probabilities want to be. The more that aggregate, the more they make other things want to glom on. With a high enough density, nothing that's nearby can glom to literally anywhere else, and there's your black hole. The Great Inevitable. In this space, there are no other possibilities. Very Demiurge-y.
(Is a collisionless gas really even an "object"?)
You can get a region like that by squashing a lot of mass in a small space, like happens when a star collapses under its own gravity. So here the intuition of "high density" makes sense.
But at the center of galaxies you have the so called "supermassive black holes" which are more or less comparable in size to the solar system and yes, they have a lot of mass but they are not very dense, a pop-sci trope is comparing it's density to cotton candy or even the air we're breathing right now.
So it's a matter of how you distribute mass/energy in a given diameter, not exactly of density.
Deflate it, then stretch the balloon over a vacuum cleaner tube and put on a rubber band to keep it in place.
If you pour sand on it, you can only get a small bump of sand and then it’ll run off the sides. Reasonable, logical, normal behavior. Clearly it’s a surface — it’s holding sand, it’s pouring sand in different directions over the edge, the sand is not all compacted into a single grain.
Turn on the vacuum cleaner. Assume a balloon stretchier than the strongest vacuum cleaner in the universe. What happens? Several things, each of which are perfectly reasonable:
1) The end of the tube is still a circle, and the balloon is still attached and covering the tube, so it’s still a two-dimensional circle.
2) A single grain of sand can’t block the vacuum tube, so it clearly hasn’t collapsed to a point.
3) The covered end of the vacuum cleaner tube is still the same circle, with the same diameter, as it was before you turned on the vacuum.
4) You can pour buckets more of sand onto that stretched circle of balloon than the handful you could before.
5) If you pour enough sand onto the circle, it’ll behave just like it did before: the sand will form a small mound and then newly-poured sand will run off whichever side the sand was poured on.
6) The rubber band is going to catch some of the overflowing grains of sand and hold onto them (‘accretion’), near but just outside the circle.
Next: Consider a more powerful vacuum cleaner. How much more? Lots. The most. An atomic Dyson powered by nuclear fusion. (This is a bit unrealistic, but that’s astrophysics for you.)
How much sand can you pour onto that two-dimensional, circular, balloon surface?
Lots. The most. Some of it will spill around the edges and get caught in the accretion band, but somehow that circle, that’s still the same size and clearly still blocking the vacuum tube, can hold an entire universe of sand.
That’s how black holes work :)
ps. For those who dislike the crudity of my teaching analogy and want to pop the spherical cow balloon: Topologically, the surface covering the vacuum tube is always a circle, even if you have an infinitely-powerful vacuum cleaner. At no point — pun intended — can a vacuum cleaner apply a transformation applied that reduces the dimensionality of the surface, thus it must remain, topologically, a circle.
pps. So clearly I must choose the circle in front of me! Hahaha! Aaaahahahah!
ppps. dies
Though the issue of small black holes is worth bringing up. If you scrunch up one cubic kilometer of stone into a black hole, that's heavy to be stable for trillions of years, but light enough to pass between the Earth and the moon without causing serious problems. And we really have no idea what the smallest existing black hole is.