It’s funny, I went to therapy a lot of times before I found someone I could stick with, and if I were to give my past self a list of what I’ve gotten from therapy, I think I would’ve been unimpressed. Nevertheless, I’ve noticed that I’m more confident and calmer, and it has definitely improved my relationships.
There’s a kind of virtuous cycle that happens where you replace a grumpy mindset where you’re always mad at yourself for not meeting other peoples’ expectations and always mad at other people for making your life hard, with a confident mindset where you understand yourself, are therefore comfortable relating to other people about your abilities and needs, and can focus on putting yourself in situations where you’ll be successful.
It was sort of fun, we talked about how Arthur Schawlow (who co-invented the laser and won the Nobel prize) was banned from driving on Stanford campus and had to be chauffeured. And I finally understood what he was talking about; you can actually access this perspective for anybody by constructing such a narrative. One insight among many.
The medication unlocks your ability to learn the skills you need to cope with the problems you have, and therapy gives you the outside feedback you need to escape your own brain trying its hardest to mess things up and hide the mess.
Imagine if every 10 seconds this guy was in your body taking over your hands for a second or two: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GguQu5Iderg
Btw no criticism implied on my end, I'm just now constitutionally incapable of not telling people they should get screened. Hmmm I wonder why I have difficulty resisting that urge...
The chance to be diagnosed with an appropriate gate varies greatly based on where you live and which doctor you can see and more. It can be anything from a 5 minute conversation, to 6 months of inconvenience, to no chance of even existing in your lifetime, to suck it up and don't ask because your career will end.
Huh? You don't have to be tested as-a-child, you don't have to call up your fourth grade teacher. You can self report your subjective experience.
"Did you have these problems as a child? Have you always had trouble doing your homework? Did stressing out about homework enable you to do the homework?"
They ask the question a few different ways typically.
I get it, perhaps it is different in your area, but I get the impression that an adult ADHD diagnosis is far from impossible.
In the US, at least, it ranges from difficult to straightforward, but that's not true everywhere
If you try to do it through the public system it's very difficult to even get an appointment because there's months long waiting lists. Basically if you have a job and function somewhat OK in normal life you won't be diagnosed in the public system. If you do get through it can be a long process where they want to interview your parents etc to determine if you had symptoms as a child. But you can also get a diagnosis through private practitioners and some of them function almost like diagnosis mills. A couple of video interviews and tests and you are done.