If you told it to roleplay a pixel knight fighting to the death and provided it responses like "Authur (renamed claude sonnet 5) moves west towards you menacingly", the whole thing would come alive.
I've been working on an AI roleplaying game for a while now and it had felt stale until I separated the story output from the plumbing output (importantly, I do story first and then base the plumbing on that). I think the two just have incompatible distributions.
I guess realistic fights are just a lot of shouting and semi-coherent thoughts (because people don’t have time to come up with a full clever quip in that sort of situation).
I think the text is bland because they are aiming to produce bland text.
Make it interesting in any particular direction and someone may not like it.
The state of so much media and art these days. :/