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Sunny's interpretation of the tone is another way of saying "you come here acting all superior". This is very different from accepting someone is superior, so it has the opposite effect of wanting to listen.

If someone is coming off to you as "all superior" you would only listen if you genuinely agree they are, and it's not an act. Otherwise you'll just see a person trying to make you feel inferior. Nobody listens unless they are truly convinced of that superiority, or else it's just an insult. Sunny of course chose to see this as an insult. But the opposite, taking the superiority at face value and just listening to anyone who sounds superior is no better. There are many more signals to take into consideration before deciding whether someone's opinion is worth listening to or taking into consideration.

by zaphar8 hours ago|

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If someone is coming off as superior to you then you should probably figure out why. Because sometimes the reason is because they have too high an opinion of themselves. And sometimes it's because you are in defense mode and they are right.

by AlexandrB10 hours ago|

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I don't think that follows. A lot of folks like to position themselves as "holier-than-thou".

by shadowgovt9 hours ago|

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The key idea, perhaps, is that in questions of fact, tone is noise.

... and that doesn't mean one gets to discard the message because its tone is noisy. Especially when the message is warning of jail-time-worthy consequences for one's actions.

If someone says "Hey asshole, stop standing on those tracks, that's how idiots get dead..." Their tone makes it hard to accept their message but one is still standing on the tracks.