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> And I don't want to buy accessories or mess with settings to fix this.

Why is an accessory unacceptable but a new device is fine?

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Because its a fixture.
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Glue down a mag safe phone charger stand.
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I don’t want a phone charger stand to be a fixture.
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Okay, but this is functionally equivalent to, and quite possibly literally the same hardware as, a phone glued to a phone charger.
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It has the same core hardware and operating system but is configured quite differently. You can’t get the always on, multiuser face recognition behavior out of an iPad even in kiosk mode.
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