On the other hand, I don't have the option to fail even slightly. I deployed a patch yesterday for an old, rare, logic bug in one reservation system, and within an hour I was being bombarded with edge cases of people seeing their reservations as cancelled during the 15 minute switch-over period.
Sometimes I feel like the job of a programmer for a company is just very different from what I do. If anything goes wrong with anything I deploy, I'm awake for however long it takes to make sure it's right. On the other hand: No PRs, no teamwork. Just a click to deploy once I'm relatively sure. And a lot of responsibility.