But that's impractical (not to mention non-deterministic and a bit of a privacy risk) for any kind of online printability of dynamic information.

Most "I need a printout of this" information is timely and dynamic and needs fixing in a physical form.

A print stylesheet seems like something you could get an LLM to write.

It’s weird that you’re opposed to a few lines of CSS but happy to boil the ocean to implement the same thing via non-deterministic AI.

I mean, everyone has their own workflow preferences so I wouldn’t criticise you for wanting to use AI in your own personal set up. But it feels like your two statements there should be moral opposites of each other.